Written by George P. Naum, MD and Vanessa Naum

Let’s start by defining the word. Altruism, according to Webster’s Dictionary, is “the belief or practice of selfless interest and concern for the well-being of others”. Studies have shown that there are brain-based rewards in being altruistic. Hormones such as oxytocin and neurotransmitters like dopamine provide us with, like the old saying says, “a good feeling all over”. The good feeling brought about by altruism provides us with better health (stable blood pressure, less heart disease, and less stress), better well-being in the form of increased happiness, and finally, a better sexual relationship, as arousal and desire are known to increase as a result of altruistic actions.

As physicians, we have chosen a profession that has historically been seen as an altruistic profession. It was the driving force that made me want to become a doctor. My vision was altruistic, and my desire was to have a positive impact on people’s lives for a purpose greater than my own.

Now, think about this for a moment: what if we apply those same principles of altruism to our marriage, much like we do to our practice of medicine? So doc, do you really practice selfless interest and concern for the well-being of your partner? Let us begin by examining our actions. Then, be the force of good for a greater purpose in our marriage.

Marital altruism calls for actions made for the higher purpose of the marriage itself. The marriage is greater than the sum of its parts. Putting this into practice, I am concerned about the health and welfare of my wife in every respect, as well as her emotional, physical, psychological, intellectual, and spiritual needs, and I know she reciprocates.

Is it possible to be altruistic all of the time? After all, let’s face it, we are human, and we have our own needs and desires. But, being a believer of the phrase “what we put into the lives of others comes back into our own” makes me confident that putting it into practice in my marriage will be an example that will be reciprocated. In most relationships, this is an ideal or something we would like to see happen. I urge you to adopt it as a value and make it happen because the sum will be greater than its two parts.

I invite you to practice altruism within your marriage and watch. . . what you put into the life of your partner will come back into your own. And, it will be multiplied!

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