Written by Scott Abramson, MD
On hospital call duty for neurology, I had a particularly intense and hectic 3 nights. I didn’t get home till maybe 9 pm or 10 pm each night.
When I finally got home Sunday night, my wife hit me with
The Question:
“Who do you love better,” Pamela demanded, “Your patients or me?”
Now I am no dummy. I responded immediately:
“It is you, my beautiful bride, that I love the most.”
“I don’t believe you,”
Pamela uttered as she turned and walked away. That night, my sleep home was the guest bedroom. However, with some Ghirardelli Chocolates and with some apologetic sweet talkin’, by the next night, I was back in our master bedroom. And of course, Pamela is no stranger to this kind of work weekends.
She knew this when she married into the medical profession 41 years ago. But sometimes, I guess, it still gets to her. I suspect that many doctors have at one time or another been on the receiving end of the “Who do you love better?” Question.
Now it is one thing when one’s spouse or partner asks “The Question,” but what about when our kids ask? And what may be even more disheartening is when they don’t ask. What if they silently presume the answer?
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Dr. Scott Abramson practiced Neurology with Kaiser Permanente Northern California for over 40 years.
For most of those years, Dr. Abramson has been passionately involved in physician communication and physician wellness projects. He has delivered dozens of workshops in this arena and personally coached scores of physicians and staff. He has developed programs on time management, physician communication, marriage in medicine, burnout, the threatened physician, difficult conversations, presentation skills, storytelling, and his two favorites, “The Secret of Happiness” and “What The Great Wisdom of Country Music Can Teach Physicians.” He enjoys giving talks on these and other subjects.
Dr. Abramson, for over 20 years, wrote a monthly column on communication issues and physician health and wellness issues. Some can be found in video format on this youtube website channel: doctorwisdom.net
A compilation of these articles has recently been published by Covenant Books, entitled, “Bedside Manners, for Physicians and Everybody Else. What they don’t teach in medical school or any other school.”
In 1982, Dr. Abramson was awarded the Physician of the Year honor in his medical facility. In 2003 he was given Teaching Excellence Award from Physician Education, and in 2010 was nominated as a Kaiser Hero for his work in regional physician communication.
To learn more about Dr. Scott Abramson, follow him on Instagram (thedoctorwisdom), visit his website at doctorswisdom.net, or subscribe to his YouTube channel (doctorwisdom.net).
Physician, Public Speaker and Storyteller
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